Why are the childless so sensitive?
Published 1 year, 6 months ago in My life.
Celebrating Mother’s Day at the in laws today and a “friend of the family’’ dropped by for a chat. A 30-something career woman, fotf is not and has no ambition to be a mother, which is entirely cool. But she bitched and moaned for half an hour about “mother’s getting all the attention’’ and “why do mother’s get a special day, I work hard but no-one celebrates my achievements’’.
I was thinking of explaining that your average mother – be they stay-at-home or career-women or mixture of the two – are pretty much on parent duty 24/7, 364 days of the year and that Mother’s Day was an opportunity for their families to say thanks and for them to have at least part of the day off.
But I couldn’t be bothered.
I just told her not to worry, every day is a celebration for barren women.
Arrrgggghhhh. She left soon after. Did I say something wrong?
This has not been my weekend for making friends.
Happy mother’s day mums. 
15 Responses to “Why are the childless so sensitive?”
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just told her not to worry, every day is a celebration for barren women.
ha aha aha ahahahahaha aha ahahahahaha a
Barren woman - a lovely term - and something that makes you feel anything like what you’re suppose to.
oooh, foss, have you been having lessons from bill heffernan?
I respect women who choose not to have children because it gets right up my nose that some people thing that it’s a woman’s job to breed and if she doesn’t she is somehow a faliure or selfish etc, that said, a woman who chooses not to have children shouldn’t deny any woman who have.
Yeah, I’d say using the word “barren” probably isn’t a good idea. It sounds a lot more unkind than “childless” even if you don’t mean it that way.
And perhaps for her, every day isn’t a celebration - she MIGHT work very, very hard, and just because it’s not on raising kids, doesn’t mean that her work is easy, fun or a celebration. Many careers require people to be on call 24/7, just like parenthood.
Nothing annoys people more than being told (by someone else) that their life is easier than it is.
OK, OK, let me explain.
I agree wholeheartedly that women who chose not to have children are entitled to the same respect as every other human being. Their life, their choice.
I was being deliberately offensive.
FOTF had barged into a family gathering - at which there were no less than five mothers feeling the glow of their family’s adoration - and started in on a “it’s all about me'’ tirade. She deserved it.
And viv, the wording of my jibe was heffernan-inspired. But nothing else about my life is heffernan-inspired.
what does FOTF stand for?
friend of the family
I agree with you fossil. Its one day of the year that mothers are recognised for who they are and what they do. It’s not easy being knee deep in baby vomit, pee & poo; or putting up with three year old’s throwing hissy-fits in a supermarket. Motherhood is a choice. Those that choose, get to enjoy mother’s day, those that don’t should not complain about it. It is their choice.
Didn’t the FOTF have a mother of her own to go and bother - and perhaps thank?
Didn’t ask Goldy. I thought her mum may have passed on and I didn’t want to seem insensitive.
Viv, what did you think FOTF stood for? I can think of a few.
Good on ya Sandra - particularly like the “knee deep in baby vomit, pee & poo'’ reference. You paint a picture.
good point golden1!! i’m sorry, but if she’s chosen her career over a family, then that’s her decision, and if she was truly happy about it, she wouldn’t be whinging about not being celebrated. so maybe she doesn’t like being successful and barren! BUT that was her own decision, she’s made her bed and now she can lie in it!
Hehehehe! Yep calling her barren AND insulting her dead mother may have gone beyond the bounds of good manners!
We have mother’s day and father’s day…
But we don’t have ER nurses/doctors day, 24-hour suicide hotline counsellors day, CFA volunteers day, affordable community lawyers day, 24-hour vet/animal rescue workers day, teacher’s day, or full time carers for disabled or aged relatives day.
Much as I think there’s a very good reason for there being a mother’s day, I can see why people might get a bit annoyed by the fact that they don’t get a day of breakfast in bed, presents and attention to recognise their contribution to society just because it didn’t involve procreation. Mothers and fathers aren’t the only ones who spent so much time and energy caring for others.
At thirty there is still hope for her…She is probably a “cupboard want to be mum” just like my daughter who until the age of 34 “wellll” then all of a sudden she realised time was running out and her biological clock was frantic… Two days ago at the age of 39.5 she gave birth to her third son….5, 3, 0…..your visitor will come to understand your message from within herself in a way that you could never have thought…..and then you’ll be able to spoil her too and give her a bunch of flowers….
Mum’s really earn their day of recognition, as do the dads’ theirs…Every other day is the kid’s day…